What Am I Doing?

What am I doing? I'm playing with fire without any protection. I'm playing with my heart with consciously realized that I'm going to be hurt. I would fall in pieces. What am I doing? I rejected my inner voice, my logical thought, and finally drowned without knowing how to swim and go out. What am I doing? I'm causing the damage and not knowing how to fix it. You're coming again, as usual, once in a year. You're asking about my life and forcing me to remember those past years. You're raising all of my hopes, and dropping it from above until it broke into millions, making me have to rebuild it years later. I should know that you're the problem, but my heart resists. Whenever you come, my knees are weak and falling sit. I know that when you come, my heart will give a command to wait. Wait for he would replying to my messages, and asking me to get a call. So, when will you go????